It came to pass that a very poor peasant was down to his last meal.
Deciding he could no longer live in squalor, he decide to sell the only thing he owned… his talking mule. These was no ordinary Francis type of talking mule, this one could tell jokes and sing and keep the local townspeople very happy. With much regret, the peasant sets off to the big city to sell his mule.
He sets up on a street corner and the mule draws an immediate crowd. The mule is so funny that the crowds can’t remain standing because they’re laughing so hard. Finally, a man comes up to the peasant and says "I’m a talent scout for The Tonight Show. I MUST have your mule for our show." Unfortunately, the talent scout had just been pick pocketed, and had lost his wallet. The only thing of value he had was a subway token. He convinced the peasant to trade the mule for the "Magic Token of Good Fortune" and secured the mule.
On the way home, the peasant realized that he had been taken, and he was broken hearted. He used his subway token to get him to the edge of the city. When he put the token in the slot, alarms went off and he was notified that he was the 1 billionth rider of the subway, and that he just won 50 million dollars.
Meanwhile, the Mule was so funny that he took over Jay’s job, and eventually put Dave, Conan, John and every other late nighter out of business. The Morale of the story: A Mule that is funny is soon bartered.